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The Beauty Within June 18, 2006

Posted by Staci in : Emotions, Site Updates , trackback   

So I picked this layout because most days I think there is beauty in everything no matter how simple.  It took me a long time to get to that point.  There are days that I still have a really hard time seeing any beauty in myself, but they are getting fewer and farther between. 

 I think I will keep this layout for a long time to help remind me of that fact.  Life is to live and enjoy.  I have always known that, but some days it has been hard to enjoy what is going on around me or to see the bright side of the most horrible situations.  You never know how long you have to be a part of it, or how long someone you love will be with you to enjoy it.

 I managed to make it past father’s day.  This is the second one since my dad passed and I know that has contributed to my mood.  I managed to get through a lot of seconds this year.  The second Christmas with out him, my second birthday after he died, his second birthday after he died, the second anniversary of his death, and now the second father’s day.  It does get easier with time like everyone says, but it will never be something that I can shrug off like it did not or does not matter. 

Comments»

1. Jenn - June 20, 2006

Staci, I know you know that I know what you’re going thru. Wow, was that ever a mouthful!

I absolutely know it’s trite, but it does get easier. This is my year for thirds - his third birthday, the third anniversary of his death.

What makes it really hard for me is knowing that he’s never met Bill, my boys, or the grandbaby I’m carrying. And I truly believe that he had some hand in the fact that Bill and I are married, and that I’m carrying his grandchild. There is a reason this all happened this year.

I know we haven’t been as close lately, but I hope you know that I am absolutely still here for you, and that I do miss you!

I’ll be home for a week next month, and I really hope that we can all get together (hint…there’s a baby shower in the works). But even if you aren’t up for a shower, possibly you, me and Heather can get together for old times….

Anyway, miss you girlfriend!
Jenn